10th September 1998

Now, direct from the Druids Temple in Nidderdale, here's High Priest Of
Earth Magic (with a cloak of purple fabric), MYSTIC GREGG

ARIES

Start the day the right way today by getting out of bed. Putting some clothes on will also help your day go well.

Your lucky body bit is boney ankle

TAURUS

Check your mail - there's a letter from Count Vladstock of Hungary there this morning, demanding to know
why your name and address was written on a brick and thrown over the battlements of his castle. You've got
some explaining to do!

Your lucky medical word is regurgitate



GEMINI

Your new fresh cream cake collection will get off to a poor start a week from now when your 500 gateauxs of
the world begin to smell less than fresh.

Your lucky Medieval instrument is the lute



CANCER

There's fury in the brewery when you turn up, impersonating a quality control tester and end up impersonating
a gorilla after downing 18 pints. You know what they say - you couldn't organise a....

Your lucky embarassing word is your own middle name

The RUNE of the CHICKEN'S LEFT FOOT: This reminds you what you got up
to last weekend. Don't try to pretend you don't understand.

LEO

At the end of the day, it gets dark. But not in your world. Where the police helicopter hovering outside your
house will shine a powerful beam through your window all night.

Your lucky stain is was by leaking Kebab fat



VIRGO

It's fine to want the entrepreneurial success of Richard Branson. But you're taking it too far by changing your
name to Dick Branston, growing a silly beard and launching a company called "slapper".

Your lucky flavour enhancer is monosodium glutamate



LIBRA

Starting your car is simple. But then I've heard that you know all about using your hands to choke.

Your lucky reason for walking strangely is having a cocked gun in your pocket



SCORPIO

You'll have pins and needles in your back when you fall off a circus trapeeze onto a bed of nails.

Your lucky knot is the Sheep Shank

RUNE: The rune of the SMILING NUN: This reminds you that even women of
the cloth can be naughty. But if they confess that makes it alright.
Apparently.

SAGGITTARIUS

You'll say "Gee", Saggi's, when you're asked to name the seventh letter of the alphabet. Then you'll say
"Why?". Followed by "Good grief! He was right! Mystic Gregg was right". But of course.

Your lucky method of revenge is publication of certain photos.



CAPRICORN

Corn On The Cob is great. It has little square edible bits and a useful stick. But it can't save your relationship.
So start looking at the real problems rather than eating amounts of sweetcorn.

Your lucky stupid idea is giving your cashpoint card and pin to a criminal



AQUARIUS

It's a clear as the nose on your face. But the optical properties of glass are no excuse for walking into shop
windows.

Your lucky thing to spread is Marmite



PISCES

Your habit of ending every sentence with "if you know what I mean and I mean business lady boy" is starting
to get on the nerves of everyone who knows you.

Your lucky part of a snail is the weird tubey bits you can see if you peel off the shell.

RUNE: The rune of the SNAIL WITH A MACHETTE. This reminds you not to
interfere with little creatures because one day they will have their revenge

(c) Chris Gregg, 1998. No publication, broadcast or commercial exploitation without permission in writing.
Contact Mystic Gregg at Galaxy on 0113 213 0105 or c/o
cgregg@galaxy105.co.uk

Return to index